Jun 30, 2009 0
MORE BULLSHIT
John Craig-Sharples dissects an advert:
Beneath the statement, ‘NOW I INVENT INSTEAD OF PREDICT. I AM A VISIONARY’ a silver-haired senior excutive sits at the shoreline of an expansive lake, gazing out to the horizon. With his strong chin and resolute expression, the man seems poised to get up and walk across the water, bring peace to the Middle East, solve the world’s energy crisis and reform MPs expenses all before lunch.
I appreciate that if you want to attract people to your expensive management programme you need to make it sound impressive. ‘I USED TO STEAL ALL MY BEST IDEAS FROM COLLEAGUES BUT NOW I’M A SELF-SUFFICIENT MUDDLER-THROUGHER’ clearly doesn’t have the right ring to it.
Adverts are strange things. If anyone said, in everyday conversation, “I am a visionary”, you’d think they were a psychopath; you’d probably be right. But we’ve come to accept hyperbole in advertising. And not just professional advertising. Everyone knows that people dissemble and exaggerate in their CVs, or on their blogs or MySpace pages. We might not like it, it’s just the way things are.
Self-promotion is a vicious cycle. In this, CVs are like MPs expenses. When everyone’s lining their pockets, you’re a fool not to; when everyone’s exaggerating their abilities, the same applies. If you want to get that job, you’re obliged in some way to play the game.
To my mind, the party leaders were to blame for MPs expenses. They had the power and the position; if they’d taken a lead others would have followed. As it was - and I know this for a fact - senior members were giving party members instruction in how to game the system. Backbench MPs were guilty of cupidity, greed and blindness, but who among us can be absolved from those sins? It’s the people with responsibility who should take the blame - not that they are.
Compared to self-promotion, however, expenses are an easy fix. Where are the leaders in society as a whole? What are the solutions? Companies could insist on honesty, I suppose. But that request would be a bit like an assessment at work: no matter what they say, the rule is never tell the truth. Why would you? Instead, the best tactic is to feign honesty, while continuing to cover up your faults. Except for that perfectionism, of course. And that insistence on working too hard, goddammit.
Call me a pessimist. But I’m afraid the future only holds more bullshit.

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